Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Phantom of the Opera and Large Breasts

Kaitlyn wasn't able to be with us for Christmas...she was visiting her dad in California. When she got home, we got to have a mini Christmas with her. She got her normal stack of books and stocking full of DVDs, gum, lip gloss, and nail polish, and some new sheets for her bed. But the big gift was tickets to see Phantom of the Opera!!

The show was last night, and we got all decked up for a night on the town...

I made sure we took pictures...LOTS of pictures...

and I'm showing these pictures for three reasons...

One - because I'm a blogger, and posting pictures and writing about the inane moments of my life is something akin to a compulsive disorder.

Two - because we looked really great.

Three - because I recently had some surgery of the cosmetic variety to fix some problem areas on my body, and while there, I enhanced OTHER areas of my body.

Now, before you go all psycho about boob jobs and stuff...know that what I did was a LIFT (nursing 5 babies does some pretty terrible things to a woman's breasts...it was seriously as if they were in some kind of competition to see which one would reach my knees first)...and to do that lift, there was a significant amount of breast tissue that had to be removed, so it was like a REDUCTION. I wanted nice, round breasts when I was done, and was a little concerned about the REMOVAL of my breast tissue, so I forced (yes...FORCED...the Doctor was against it) the doc to put in SMALL implants (only 250 cc...about golf ball size) behind the muscle so I could be nice and round (he refused to go bigger than 250's...said I wouldn't need it).

Anyway...6 to half dozen another...I fit into all my old bras. Its as if NOTHING changed...except when I take said bras OFF...there isn't this huge gravity tug in my chest area. They stay put. NICE.

And my hubby smiles a lot if my shirt is off...but that is another story for another time...

So I'm happy. They look natural. Proportional to my body size (which is very full).

So I get all dolled up, and I wear this cute blouse that shows 'em off. And I admit, just to tease my hubby, I used a few make-up tricks to accentuate the cleavage (didn't know you could do that? Well...you CAN. And it works AMAZINGLY well...no matter your cup size. It's all about light and shadow...give me a call and I'll clue you in).

So...I think I look pretty good. Hubby is all smiles. So we take pictures.
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Not bad...Katie and I look cute...she's so pretty!! And my make-up tricks are working great on the cleavage...
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Notice that when I take pics...everyone comes out crisp and clear, and when Jason and Kate are behind the camera, everything is blurry? Look at Kate in this pic...she is GLOWING...I just can't get over how pretty she is...and Jason looks HOT...
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I like this pic, too...besides the orange-y tint my houses' lighting gives everything...
But then...I see THIS picture...(below)
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HOLY HELL!!!
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What are those gigantic watermelons doing in my blouse?!?!?!
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My head looks smaller than my breasts!!
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My Boobs are NOT that big...I swear. True...I was wearing a cleavage enhancing blouse, and used that whole light-shadow thing...but those look like BALLOONS IN MY BRA!!!
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No more pictures with me in front, leaning back.
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NO WAY.
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I'm sure I could've had Jason just lift his embrace up a bit and cover 'em up with his hands...
I'm sure he wouldn't have minded...
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By the way...Phantom was AWESOME. And although we were up in the balcony, the high altitude did not cause any bursting in my blouse, and the extra weight in front did not propel me forward over the railing and into the orchestra.
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So I consider the whole endeavour a success, after all....

2 comments:

Mel said...

Just the title of this post had me cracking up. Thanks for making me smile.

Katherine said...

Oh my gosh! You're too funny!! I laughed so hard when I read this. I saw the pics on facebook and wondered if you had updated lately. Thanks for giving us hope for someday....:) I think you look great!!