Thursday, July 30, 2009

Genetics and Giveaways


I have a couple confessions to make...some of them might make you mildly uncomfortable. Not my-clothes-are-too-tight-and-then-I ate-a-foot-long-super-sub uncomfortable...but a I-can't-believe-a-grown-mother-of-five-would-admit-this kind of uncomfortable. If you are queasy in any way, and like to imagine that you know everything about me without knowing my deepest, darkest secrets (AKA "Friend Denial"), you are hereby excused to skip this post. If you are intrigued...please read on.

Okay...the first confession is so deep and dark that not even my husband knows it...although he has serious suspicions...

I love comic books.



One of my greatest secret ambitions is to attend Comic Con...IN COSTUME. I can speak nerd with my fellow comic geeks and feel totally connected and fulfilled. I could peruse panels and buy vintage stuff and role play ALL WEEKEND LONG. I could admit (without fear of retribution) that I belong to several on-line forums regarding anime, comics, and movies/TV shows that relate to anime or comics. I could be hyper and laugh my very realistic evil girl laugh make new friends who GET me.

I could never admit this to Jason. He would be horrified, and want me to seek therapy. So I'll just tell the whole blog-o-sphere instead...purging my soul from the secret while remaining confidant that he'll never know (He doesn't read my blog. Sad, huh?).

The other confession is directly related to the first one...because I believe that my comic book obsession has given birth to the following belief:

I believe that I am not all human.

I think that an an early age, my parents volunteered me for some freak top secret government genetic splicing experiment where they melded human DNA with animal DNA in an effort to create a super species of person with special powers to unleash on a world hell bent on destroying Democracy and the Great American Way.

There's only one problem.
My parents obviously procrastinated on bringing their darling baby girl in...and by time I was "volunteered", most of the truly cool animal splices had already been handed out.

So I missed out on being CheetahGirl with super speed, and RhinoGal, who is equipped with super strength and bullet-proof armor was already taken. I couldn't even be AquaChick and telepathically communicate with marine animals.

Nope...I got the "leftover" DNA...

I was spliced with a Magpie. And my only super power is the inhuman desire that attracts me to sparkly things that I then capture and horde in my nest.

It's not only a completely unimpressive super-power, it's also a bit of a liability, as I am rendered pretty much powerless by the sight of anything remote glittery, sparkly, or otherwise classified as "bling". It means it takes real willpower not to Be-Dazzle every piece of clothing in my wardrobe. And if I ever AM out in my cape and tights, fighting for the freedom and safety of my fellow citizens...all a bad guy has to do to completely zap my power is flash a piece of costume jewelry at me...and there I a deer in the headlights...drooling stupidly over $20 worth of plastic gems while they steal the codes for the nuclear devices at NORAD.

I've all but been kicked out from the Super Human Alliance. They never call. They never e-mail. And I didn't even get an invitation to this years SuperHero Cocktail Party.


I've worked feverishly over the years to control my urges. I avoid malls for fear of being caught in a trance outside Zales. I use a blindfold to get me past the jewelry departments at Target and Wal-Mart. And I have never gotten into "beading". caution couldn't last forever. I have a friend who lives in Vegas...and she has started a business selling Lia Sophia jewelry. She kept writing me and telling me how great it was...and how it changed her life...look for yourself!! Could YOU resist such an impassioned speech?

Hi All,
I could tell you that I started my own lia sophia business because I wanted a challenge, or because I was motivated to become a fabulous businesswoman. But I'm not going to lie to you – I joined because I loved the jewelry! When the Advisor at the first show I attended saw how many pieces were on my wish list, she told me the secret to having it all was doing what she does. So yes, I became an Advisor to get great discounts on the hottest jewelry. But what I didn't realize at the time was that I would actually earn an income while shopping with the girls! I am building a business and doing it right along side my other daily activities. I am a living example that you CAN mix business with pleasure. Every step of the way, lia sophia rewards me for my success, with trips to fantastic places like Hawaii and the Caribbean, free jewelry, and much more. It's hard to believe what started out as a desire to wear great jewelry has turned into a business I truly love, but that's exactly what happened. I used to be afraid of public speaking, you couldn't pay me enough to get up in front of a crowd and speak; but now I've come out of my shell. I feel that I'm a better person for overcoming my fears of public speaking and surprisingly it was easy because I love the jewelry, the way lia sophia stands behind their product with their Lifetime Replacement Guarantee, and most of all I love what I do because I believe in it. YOU TO CAN HAVE IT ALL!!

Sunni Shoemaker
lia sophia Advisor
(702) 810-9816 or (702) 202-1048

I, of course, am a sucker, and one day, in a stupor of weakness, I looked at her site.


My eyes were GLUED to the screen. It took 3 of my children, a crowbar, the the promise of dark chocolate covered cherries for me to break away from the on-line catalog.

My will having been broken, I found myself drawn there again...and again...and again.

And the only way I could fix the problem was to SHARE the problem.

I am doing this by giving away a gorgeous necklace called "Meadow" (it's 16-19" long). It makes me think of late summer...the pretty green river shell, and then there is all those sparkly reminds me of my recent vacation to Zion National Park...with all the beautiful vermilion and orange striped canyons, the crystal rolling river cascading over the grey and green stones, smoothing them down to shiny black pebbles, the majestic green pines, and the expansive robin egg blue sky.

It would look GREAT with one of those long peasant skirts and a breezy top, wouldn't it?

Anyway...I'm giving this away in hopes that it will ease my Magpie burden a bit...

All YOU have to do is go on her site at and look at all the amazing and beautiful jewelry she has. Pick your favorite piece, and leave a comment about it on this blog in the Comments section.


Contest runs from July 30 to August 14.

One entry per person.

Leave your comment with the name of the piece that you most admire in the Comments section of the blog, along with your e-mail address so I can contact you if you win.

Additional entries will be made if you:

1) Remind me that you are a follower or add yourself as a follower

2) Blog about this giveaway on your own blog (you have to e-mail the link so I can check up on you!)

3) Think of an AWESOME Super Hero name for my type of power, and leave it in the comments section.

That's 3 additional entries to improve your chances!!

All additional entries must be in the form of a SEPARATE COMMENT (also with your e-mail...I'm too lazy to scroll around and look for it).

Oh!! And I have more good news!! I called Sunni to let her know about this giveaway, and she shared that if you actually BUY something between now and midnight August 2, you can take part in a special sale that allows you to buy ONE item at full price, and get TWO MORE items at half price. Or, if you're like me, you can buy TWO ITEMS at full price and get FOUR ITEMS at half price. If you do that, she'll take an additional $10.00 off your order!!

So, if you do the 3 item deal, you pick out 3 pieces you LOVE, you pay full price for the LEAST EXPENSIVE ITEM, and then get the two other MORE EXPENSIVE items half off!!! It's like going to Nordstroms, buying a pair of socks for full-price, and getting two pairs of designer jeans 1/2 off!!! You do the same thing if you buy 6 full price for the two LEAST EXPENSIVE items, and get your four MORE EXPENSIVE items 1/2 off, PLUS an additional $10.00 off your whole order!! Isn't that cool?!?!?! Isn't she swell?!?!?
If you take advantage of this sale through her web-site, you have to enter my name, Shannan Johnson, where it prompts you to get the sale prices!! If you have problems, you can call Sunni at 702-810-9816.

Magpie-gene spliced mutants UNITE!! We have sparklies to horde!!

Good luck...and remember...the special sale is only good until Midnight, August 2 (that's just a few days, people!!)


Christine Capella said...

So do you have a wish list on the site so I know what to get you for your birthday?

Sunni Shoemaker said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ShannanJ said...

Christine!! How sweet!! But it would be much better if YOU bought something for YOU than feed my unhealthy addiction. I would feel very, very pleased to have all my friends get something for themselves in honor of my birthday!! Anyway - be sure to enter the contest...the above comment doesn't officially matter HOW sweet it is!!

Dave said...

You crack me up!

dawmicros said...

i like the cherry bomb necklace cause our jr girl scouts are called the cherry bombs

as for your superhero name, what about BaubleChick. you could use all your shiney baubles to direct light into your enemies eyes and blind them!! or jingle them together to deafen them cause you have so many and its so loud!!

Marlowe Mania said...

Shannan...or should we call you "Colonel Bling";
We checked the amazing site...I along with Christine Capella would love to buy you a piece of jewelry for your birthday...however, I'm afraid that can't happen.
Thanks for professing your addictions. Although, I haven't gotting INTO comics...besides Archie and Jughead...I think that I could definately get into jewelry, especially, the jewelry I looked at...
Meadow Necklace is beautiful (you need to keep it for Shannan, I think we would all agree), the Patina Necklace and Bracelet is amazing as well, and the Aruba Necklace is to love. I could easily write down, unsurprisingly you have great taste.
Thanks for sharing your addictions.
I have to share that I have a project that I want to get going on has to do with cross stitching. Look at the LizzieKate site...if you go under What's New and check the projects for Jan 2009, July 2008, and Dec 2007.
I may be wishful thinking...but, it looks fun to do.
Take care Shannan BO-Bannan.
Love ya!

ShannanJ said...

This is a message from my friend Maritza who is not a blogger...but sent her response via e-mail...

"I am probably putting this in the wrong place. I am NOT good at this... lol... I liked the following piece of jewelry the most. Bistro
16-19" Necklace.
(N53) $44.00
I like the simple black cord (necklace) and the very pretty pendant.

Love Maritza"

Tiffany said...

I don't know if I am understanding right which blog to leave the comment on. I like letter P in the fall/winter collection. (It is a ring) Let me know if I totally messed this up.

Mel said...

I am a follower!

Mel said...

I am like you when it comes to shiny things and had a hard time picking a favorite. I really like "Islander" on page 27 of the fall/winter collection and "Chamomile" on page 31. Cute stuff!

Mel said...

I posted about your contest on my blog:

Mel said...

As far as your superhero name: How about Red Dragon. Instead of a magpie, I'm picturing you having dragon-like strength and powers and gathering your gold and gems and shiny objects in your lair. You could fly and breath fire and possess great strength. I think it fits you.

Laura Hervey said...

My favorite is the Perla del Mar 54-57" Necklace on page 17 in the Fall/Winter 2009 Collection.

Laura Hervey said...

I am a follower!

Laura Hervey said...

I posted about your give-away on my blog...